This topic is spawned from a CNN feature I recently read about but this is really a commentary about a phenomenon I’ve seen for years. Black women tend to be standoffish about people touching our hair….why?
The above is simply a nice video on the natural movement and accepting ones features fully, the article that follows it can be seen here and discusses how uncomfortable most black women are with people touching their natural hair.
Here are two excerpts:
She missed by mere seconds, she was actually going to grab my hair as I walked past her,” recalled Winfrey Harris who runs the blogWhat Tami Said. “I turned around and she said, ‘Oh, your hair is neat.’ It just floored me because who does that, just reaches out and touches strangers?
Blogger Los Angelista explained her response to a woman’s incredulous “Are you serious, I can’t touch your hair?” by writing that no she couldn’t, “Because my black ancestors may have been your ancestors’ property, and had to smile while they got touched in ways they didn’t want to, but I am not YOUR property and never will be so you’d best move your hand away from me.
When it comes to this subject I definitely have first hand experience, big Afro hair can often be a spectacle and I have had my hair touched by strangers quite a few times. I know that the general consensus is typically to go off on a tirade on how horrible/annoying it is, however on this subject, I’ll just be the odd woman out as usual. I honestly don’t mind or care that much when people come up and touch my hair. I usually get a good laugh or a sweet compliment that adds a little pep to my step
I will say one time that really caught me off guard was when I was sitting on the train on west 4th st, chillin rocking curly crochet extensions and this white young lady walks in, reaches right into my hair, bounces a curl and said “I just had to boing one!” I was shocked at first but then just had to 
at it. Folks act like they had an out of body experience and had to touch.
Maybe its because I grew up around white people that the cultural personal space thing isn’t so foriegn to me
Actually I’ve noticed that Black American’s tend to be standoffish about pretty much any kind of personal contact, even with their significant others, for the vast majority of Black women, even their husbands are prohibited from touching their hair
Me myself I’ve always been pretty expressive and affectionate in general so its not jarring when someone wants to get near me or touch my hair. I also think this kind of reaction feeds into the “belligerent black woman with an attitude” stereotype
Honestly I don’t mind it, and it doesn’t cause me to go off on soliloquies regarding the plight of my ancestors
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I felt the same way (and still do, as the article stands). That is, until I read the FULL account of Los Angelista’s experience. It was taken radically out of context, I think.
From her blog: http://www.losangelista.com/2009/09/no-you-cant-touch-my-hair.html
Her explanation (via bglhonline.com) :http://www.losangelista.com/2009/09/no-you-cant-touch-my-hair.html
The TL;DR synopsis includes being called a “b!tchy black woman” as a response to being told that “no” she did not want her hair touched.
I work with students in a pretty racially mixed elementary school. And I allow them any opportunity to touch my hair, cause it is cool and they (white AND black kids) have almost no experience with hair like ours, even though that is how it comes out our head! If the mystique is removed then there will come a time when people don’t need to touch our hair. Plus, human contact is not always the worse thing. It, you know, humanizes us.
Exactly Deandra, if it will remove the mystique, why not? We wont melt or anything lol thanks for the helpful links!
Wow, okay upon reading what a train-wreck of a day los angelista had, I can understand why she reacted the way she did, plus that person wasn’t just a regular, genuinely curious lady, she was spiteful with a superiority complex so she deserved the reaction she got.
Yeah, that article totally got people going in on her, but her comment was warranted. Me? I don’t know I would have been able to respond at coherently.
Otherwise, I totally understand why people can’t help but touch our hair. *I* can’t keep my hand out of mine and I have seen some heads I was just itching to touch because they were so gorgeous. For example, yours.
Awww thanks so much Deandra! *hugs*
I agree, I don’t mind people touching my hair, except for maybe when it’s dirty (close to a wash day).
lol, great point, when its close to wash day or I overdid it with the products I might haveta bob n weave lol
When people do this though it lacks of social grace, which is why I think that people should understand how uncool it is. TBT I find white people more standoffish than Black. Blacks are quicker to hug and touch while talking. My experience anyway.
Thats an interesting take on things, I agree that it may lack of social grace, but it also sends the message that your hair is so irresistibly fascinating that a person can’t help but to feel it lol