Black Women of America buckle up, and get ready to be put on BLAST.
After careful consideration, I think its just the shot in the arm many in our community need. This movie will be hilarious, because it will put all of our ridiculous notions of “good hair” and what is “beautiful” on display for all to see in all its ignorant glory. Many will leave this film embarrassed as we should be. I really hope this causes Black women to pause and think about WHY they do the things they do to their hair.
I DON’T feel that all women who perm their hair are self hating or are trying to be white, I had a perm for four years and I loved being Black then just as much as I do now. However, I do think the way perming your hair makes you feel about your new growth or your natural god given hair texture can get to be unhealthy. Around touch-up time its as if we begin to look at our hair like a problem that needs to be solved. I think that mindset can get to be corosive on one’s psyche. Our daughters witness this behavior and the cycle of seeing our hair as inferior and ugly is perpetuated yet again.
Another facet of this dynamic I found really fascinating was the Beauty Supply Store owner who spoke of African textured hair as if it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen. He said “we no want that hair that look like Africa like this, (holds hands out for effect) we want the hair that look straight, look more natural”………for whom?
In an odd way, the Beauty Supply Store owner is like a Drug Dealer, exploiting the self-hatred of a community and routinely giving them their temporary “fix” turning self-hatred, into profit.
The one thing that sista’s do which confuses me to no end is not allowing your own MAN to touch your hair. C’MON!!!! No weave is worth that. Learn the best way to work with your hair to grow it out or at least grow it out under the weave so that one day he can run his hands thru your hair and enjoy that intimacy with him. I once had a black man play in my straightened hair for thirty minutes straight amazed that I was letting him, and in awe that it was my own real hair. It felt great lol (like a relaxing massage) but the idea that this was a new experience for him blew me away.
I’m also always floored by the misinformation we’ve been given about our hair and its potential to grow long I’ve been asked on several occasions what I’m mixed with (nothing) or had my advice dismissed offhand because obviously I have that “good” hair when we have the same kinky textured hair. Ladies we CAN grow our afro textured hair as long and as thick as the weaves, we just have to care for our hair differently then we have been led to believe.
I think if we want to convey the truth, the fact that Black is beautiful in all its glory then we have to be the first examples of that. We have to take charge and embrace the way we were created. Show the world that we love our hair long or short, we love our wide noses our thick lips our dark skin and our round hips, unabashed, unapologetic. Proud.
I know that this stems from the legacy of colonialism the Atlantic slave trade and the effects of living in a society dominated by notions of white beauty. I was the little girl playing with my half white grandma’s hair wishing my hair could look and feel like hers wondering why my hair was nappy and hers was wavy and soft…..I remember playing in my room wearing a beige towel on my head telling my mom I wished my hair was that long. My mother made sure to emphasize to me the fact that I have beautiful hair she taught me my heritage and history and led by her example as a proud afro-centric woman but when she would comb my hair….it would always be a harrowing experience painful and uncomfortable and when special occasions would come around she would press my hair straight. She meant well, but it was mixed messages like that that left me confused as a little girl.
They didn’t have the access to information on how to care for Black Women’s Hair like we do today. I hope when we all have our daughters we comb their gorgeous Afro textured hair only when soaking wet with a oil and a great detangling conditioner. I hope we all make the hair styling experience one that is enjoyable for them, so that they never come to resent their god given tresses. My deepest hope is that this notion of “good hair” dies with this generation.
I’d LOVE to hear what you think about this controversial topic and about Chris Rocks movie debuting in October leave a comment share your thoughts weather you agree or disagree. I’d love to hear your perspective.